I\’ve had many jobs during my 56 years.  I worked at a gas station , a fast food restaurant, a wallpaper manufacturer and even a banana company.  The one job that I think had the most influence on me was when I was a commissioned salesman.  This is not to say that I was the greatest salesman because I wasn\’t.  The skills that I learned  while doing this job really helped me to become the person I am today.

Those skills included learning how to listen and watching body language.  How many times have we heard the phrase \” They really mean yes even though they\’re saying no\”.  As a salesman you learn by watching body language what a person wants to do.  Some times they are saying no and they really mean it.  Sometimes the body language is saying \” I\’m not convinced.  Convince me\”.

How does this relate to being a dad?  There are many times when I\’ve talked to my kids and it seemed like I was talking to a wall.  This can be very frustrating.  But was I really listening?  Did my kids have another issue? If my kids were one of my customers, I should sense that maybe today is not the right time for this topic.  I should give them my card and encourage them to come back at another time when they may be more receptive to my ideas (or sales pitch).  I should never close the door.

I\’ve learned over the years that by really listening, I may find out that what I want to sell may not be what they need.  I\’ve also learned to  encourage them to talk about themselves.  Now sometimes what my kids have to say is not what I want to hear.  I want to sell them item A, but they want to buy item B.  When I move my ego out of the way, I understand that a sale is still a sale.  Item A may bring me greater satisfaction and even a bigger commission but will they come back to me for their next purchase.  Item B is what they really want. ( I must include a disclaimer.  I\’m not talking about those crazy things kids want or think they need. I\’m talking about those reasonable things.  I want them to be a doctor but they want to be an artist.  I want them to be a pro basketball player but they like bowling much better.  Understand?)  Will they say \”He really didn\’t listen to me, so I\’ll never go back to him again\”.

I don\’t want my kids to go anywhere else to be heard. I need them to come to me with all their issues.  The good and the bad.  They should never feel that I would bait and switch them.

I love being a dad!