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A few weeks ago, my 15 year old son came over (he lives with his mom) to spend some time with us. On our ride from his home( which is in Queens), I tried my best to engage him in some conversation. It was very frustrating because I couldn\’t get him to give me anything more than an occasional yes or no. This behavior from a teenager is not uncommon. A good friend of mine once told me that teens between the ages of 12 to about 18 experience a form of insanity. What this means is it seems that during this time they exhibit mood swings, irrational thinking and a lack of conversational skills. Once they reach the 18 to 21 range a magical switch is turned on and they become sane, rational human beings. I can hear you laughing but, I watched my older son and step daughter go through this.
Once we were home it didn\’t take long for him to search out the phone and call one of his friends. I tried my best not to get bent out of shape. We had been riding together for about 40 minutes. He had nothing to say. I\’VE SEEN THIS BEFORE! So I went on to do the things in the house I needed to do. Around 10 pm, I couldn\’t keep my eyes open, so I went to bed to get my beauty sleep.
Around 5 in the morning I got up to use the bathroom and there was my son, in front of the tv playing his xbox and talking on the phone. I have 2 cordless phones and don\’t you know he had one on the floor and talking on the other one. What did he do? Talk until he burned out the batteries on the one phone, then switched over to the other.
I held my composure, went into the bedroom and turned the tv on. The news was on. The reporter was telling a story about a shooting. Two young kids about 16 years old had been shot. One died and the other was in critical condition.
My first thought was why were these young men out at 5 in the morning? Where were their parents? Where was their dad?
I went to the room my son was in and got an instant feeling of gratitude that my he was not out there. I felt this would be good time to pay the phone bill.
I LOVE BEING A DAD.
Thank you for sharing the positive thoughts.Children are indeed strange at times, like we all at times. I have found that we all need to build whatever [positive] we choose to build on solid ground {rock]. Glad you asked what is solid ground [foundation],i am speaking of the word of God…”thus said God”. And that entails raising our children in the word. How do we do that? I’m glad you asked! All we have to do as parents is to not only read the word, but live it as well let God’s light shine through you so that the beam will transcend to our children and every life that we touch. Let us not be {Pharisees} or {Hypocrites} to the word of God, but Real,true people with one purpose and that being to build our lives and the lives of our children on solid{rock{} not….sand. I love being a dad and grand dad!!! Sweet thoughts, much love!
Peace,
Dorrien R. Christiani
’tis indeed true. But didn’t we go through the same sort of madness ourselves? Some of the nonsense I remember spouting, and believing wholeheartedly in what I was saying, now beggar belief.
I particularly recall saying to my mother that I would never give my friends duvets (no matter how fancy) as birthday or Christmas presents. They would get fabulous gifts, Dahling!
Come to own my first flat (apartment) and realising I couldn’t even afford sheets never mind those fancy and beautiful duvets my mother used to gift her friends was a wake-up call.
But, as always, kids are looking for certainty in an uncertain world and their place in it. It is up to us to remain constant, consistent, loving…and always there. No matter the provocations.
Wendell, this post really resonated!
My best, HMSx
Really enjoyed this post. It’s truly amazing how that transformation occurs in that age group. They go from loving you to hating you. All of a sudden they know everything and you know nothing! Thank God this passes and sometimes you even see that the things you were trying to teach them they actually learned. I remember going into seclusion from my parents. Those years are very scary, very confusing and oftentimes they don’t even understand why they are acting like they are. We just have to keep loving them and being patient. You summed it up perfectly! Thank you! Keep writing!