On my last post I discussed anxiety and the things I do and tell my kids to do when situations come up. I feel it is very important to have a game plan and I used that post to work through what I was going through.
The one thing that is clear is that when you are in a situation sometimes it’s hard to see the whole picture. The reason I chose to write about it was to help me get a clearer idea of what was going on.
What helped me the most is that it gave me a direction that I needed to move in? One of the things that I wrote about included finding a person to confide in that would look at things objectively. That person should not be afraid to tell you the truth. This is most effective when both of you are confident that the relationship is strong. At the same time the recipient has to be open minded enough to take what is said and be equally objective.
I feel that I am very lucky in that I have 2 people that I can go to who I feel will give me their opinion in a truthful manner. The one person is a coworker and the other is my sister.
My coworker and I have been friends for over 20 years. During that time we have both been involved in each other’s lives. That includes talking about our kids and being there for one another during those times when life is difficult.
Our relationship is so special that when we first see each other we will stop what we are doing, even if we are involved in a conversation with someone else, give each other a hug and say to each other “I love you”. There is nothing sexual about this exchange. This is an exchange where 2 “ brothers” greet each other and we let each other know that the world is OK and that we have each other’s back.
For the past couple of years his charge has been to help me with my writing. I look for him after I publish a post because I know he will give me his true feelings about what I have written. There are times when he doesn’t like what I wrote. There are other times when he feels that my posts were incomplete. He has felt that I could have said more about the topic I was writing about. There are also those times when he thinks my writing has hit the nail on the head.
Regardless of what he has to say to me, I look for him to give me his honest opinion. One of my goals is to become a better writer and thanks to him I feel that I am getting closer to that goal.
My parents were practicing positive parenting for a very long time. I feel that this is the reason why my sister, brother and I work together so well. In recent years we have gotten even closer since my mom went in a nursing home and we work hard to make sure my dad is enjoying a good quality of life.
I talk to and see my brother regularly. My sister and I talk a little more frequent. I talk to her a few times a day and I believe that is due to us both being very involved in the day to day issues of our parents
During the situation that I wrote about in my last post, it was my sister who put together a plan of action.
The situation was caused by a third person and I used the metaphor of that person releasing a bird that put this thing in action. My sister and I knew where the bird was going and there was nothing we could do to stop it. A series of actions needed to be done so that when the bird reached its’ destination, it would not stay there long. We were successful in doing what we had to do and now the situation has been resolved. The only problem with most birds, stationary or flying, is that there is no way to avoid being affected by their droppings.
There are times when I interact with either my sister or my coworker, that there is no immediate solution to what I may be going through. The one thing that they both turn to in those instances is their faith. They both remind me how important it is to move ourselves out of the way and let God take control of whatever is going on.
They remind that there are times when it is necessary to hold on for the ride while God is doing what he needs to do. Sometimes that ride is rough and it seems that the pressure is too much for us to handle. The one thing that is true with people like these, it doesn’t matter how rough the ride is. I know that when I am in that seat and it’s bucking and rolling, I know I’m not there by myself. When I look around to see what’s going on, I’m relieved when I see them taking the ride with me.
I LOVE BEING A DAD!!
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