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Kids should never be left alone. With young children this is obvious. Their reasoning can lead them to make the wrong conclusions. As parents we need to be constantly with them or have them with an adult who can be trusted. Parents are the problem solvers. Our kids look to us to provide the guidance and to give them the answers they need.
Some think there is a certain age when kids should be removed from the parental umbrella. Some say that time is between the ages of 18 and 21. I agree that there is a point in time when they should begin to take care of themselves. They should get jobs and do those things that are needed to become useful members
of society. Even though we want them to be successful and on their own there are times when they need our advice and help. Being a parent is a life long arrangement. Problems and their solutions don\’t end at age 18 or 21.
At age 57, I still bounce ideas off my mom and dad to get their input. My oldest son does the same with me. Sometimes I am a treasure trove of information. Sometimes I can help him with that bill. There are other times when I fall very short on both.Despite what I can or can not do I feel that the quality of the relationship I have with my kids is most important. This relationship should never be based on my
performance. At the same time I don\’t want them to feel it\’s a burden for me to help solve their problems. They should never feel abandoned during those difficult times. Just as with young children, older kids can come to wrong conclusions when they are under emotional or financial stress. It is at those times when we
should make a conscience effort to share our experiences with them. In most cases we\’ve gone through those same situations.
It is my responsibility as a parent to always be there for my kids. During the good times as well as the bad. As a parent my services are always needed. I never want them to fell abandoned.
What is your opinion? I\’d love to read your comments and don\’t forget to participate in this week\’s poll.
I LOVE BEING A DAD!!
“Being a parent is a life long arrangement.”
You’re so right on. We stick by our young adult kids, now in their 20s, even after they’ve made some really poor choices. We continue to take them out to lunch/dinner regularly in order to have conversations with them.
Unfortunately, often it’s the adult children who want to eliminate parental participation in their lives. This is our culture of “autonomy” and “individualism.” They don’t go to the more mature adutls of their lives for advice until they hit the brick wall or face disasters. They try to go it alone!
I do think, though, that the parents are no longer the problem solvers once the kids become adults. Parents need to start playing the role of coaches rather than leaders or problem-solvers so we can show our young adult kids how to make good decisions.
Coach Theresa
http://www.transitionslifecoaching.org