POSITIVE PARENTING – PERFECTION.

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Last month this blog became three years old.  I looked over all the posts I have written over that time (88 in all) and I feel that it has been moving in the direction I want it to move in. I wanted to have a place where I could share my thoughts on parenting.

I never claimed to be an expert in this area. I believe that my experiences are not unique to me. I feel that all parents have many things in common.

The concept of positive parenting is an idea that has been around for ages.  In all of our work with our kids we strive to be that person who raises kids who will be useful members of society.

Each day we are blessed to wake up, we learn new thing about ourselves and our kids.

As I have shared with all of you, I have three boys ages 29, 18 and 8. They all don’t have the same mother. The older 2 are from one and the youngest is from another. I have also written about a daughter. She actually was the daughter of the mother of my youngest son.  While we were together, I did the best I could to be as positive as I could with that young lady. I am a strong believer that I have to practice my positive parenting skills with any kid that comes into my sphere of influence even if they are not biologically mine. Since her mother and I are no longer together, I don’t have any contact with that young lady. Her brother, from time to time, lets me know how she is doing. I’d like to encourage her to keep up the good work she is doing in her quest of practicing positive parenting with her kids.

In my first post on the subject of perfection, I discussed the idea that my perfection was due to the magic pill that my parents had, that was passed down from their parents, that I took which transported me into this royal area.

As a result of this pill I became the perfect student who graduated from every learning level with perfect grades. I was even able to, when I became an adult, to produce my own set of perfect kids.

One day when I was in the process of passing along the ‘PILL OF PERFECTION” to my kids, my body began shaking very violently.  I had never felt this before and the thought crossed my mind that this might be the beginning of the end for me

The best way I could describe this shaking is when you are on plane going down the runway, getting ready to take off. Those of us who have flown know what this feels like. The plane shakes and shakes as it goes faster and faster until it gets in the air and all the shaking stops. This was what I was waiting for. I thought the voice I was hearing was the voice of God.

As I began to focus my eyes, what I saw made me feel very disappointed. This is heaven? There was no white light that everyone talks about. There were no angels greeting me and welcoming me to this great place.

Wait a minute. I’m in my bedroom and that voice I was hearing and the shaking I was feeling was my wife trying to wake me up because it was time to get up to go to work and I had overslept, again.

To make matters worse, I had this terrible headache. I then began to remember what was going on. During this time of my life, I was the textbook alcoholic and drug user.

In 1995, after I had been sober for four years, I traveled to Washington, Dc with a friend and my oldest son. That experience really changed my life and it was then I knew I had to make a conscience effort about positive parenting.  It served no purpose to look at my past failures. I had to move forward in order to become the best person I could be.

In 2009, the urge to make my thoughts public became so over whelming that I created I Love Being A Dad!!

For these past three years, I have heard from many of you through Twitter, Facebook and have enjoyed reading your comments on positive parenting.

The one thing I have learned over this time is that there is no such thing as a magic pill and there is no such thing as perfect parents. As in all of life this is a process and I look forward to spending more time with you discussing those issues concerning positive parenting.

I LOVE BEING A DAD!!

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This Post Has One Comment

  1. brittany

    First of all I really love what you did for me in regards to mentioning my blog.
    With perfect parenting,you hit it on the nose with this post!No parent is perfect or can they make perfect kids in the eyes of everyone.You can do your best as a parent and then hope that what you taught them will stick forever.As a parent we live and learn on a daily basis no matter how old we are.Parents should always know that imperfections are normal and being perfect is harder than trying to pick your child up from making poor choices in life. Perfection has many definitions to many people in the world.Your definition and view may be different or the same as the next person, but it does not mean that either has won the award for being a perfect parent.I love this post and how you showed that perfection is never always possible 100% of the time, as a parent we should realize this when making parenting decisions and evaluating yourself as a parent. Great Post!!

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